This is a tribute to a small, yet significant following of my band's work.
My band is the Phosphenes, consisting of Tom Barbieri on guitar and backing
vocals, Bob Ramazzotto on the skins, and myself, John Durski on guitar, bass,
and lead vox. The song is not intended to offend anyone--if offends you,
go to hell!


THE SCHWANTZ SONG
-John Durski, Tom Barbieri @1990_



I was born a schwantz
an itsy bitsy schwantz
From the wombistic waters
came what she wants.

Came a schwantz
hairless and friendly
like a pole of totem
rising from my scrotum.

She wants schwantz
she wants schwantz
she'd be lying if she said
she didn't want your
want your schwantz

When I grew up
I had to wear a cup
to protect the prize
that hangs between my thighs.

If I could only know
what would make my schwantz grow
I'd be a Kong-like monster
from the depths below

She wants schwantz
she wants schwantz
she'd be lying if she said
she didn't want your
want your schwan